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Joke of the Day

"My LASIK doctor said that if I get 2000 upvotes on this post I'll get free treatment. Upvote for visibility."

"I take karate classes solely to fight off hobos who mistake my man bun for a delicious cinnamon roll"

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee. Free"

"What is a racist's favorite seafood dish? Klu Klux Klam"

"A farmer walks past a tombstone that says: Here lies a lawyer, an honest man, a man of integrity. The peasant crosses himself and says scared: ""Blessed Virgin, three men buried in the same grave!"""

"Falling in love makes you do stupid things. Once I even got married."

"All I did was compliment a coworker on their fantastic mustache, and now I'm in HR's office. Thanks a lot, Megan!"

"What sentence is vastly shorter after you remove one word from it? Child porn"

"Australia wants to secede from the Commonwealth to distance itself from the British Monarchy... It will no longer be a kingdom and it can't be a principality, so it has to be a country."

"Instead of the Maternity Ward they should have called it the New Releases section."