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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that when a woman wears a bikini, 90% of the body is exposed? But men are so classy that they only stare at the 10% that's covered"

"You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view."

"*at a loud house party* Is this your- I SAID IS THIS YOUR HOUSE? I NOTICED THE DOG BOWL. WHERE IS HE OR SHE, I'D LIKE TO PET HIM OR HER"

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not three. It's still dark in my basement."

"i think when there's a new viral thing and instead of checking it out you're like ""eh who cares i bet it's dumb"" that's Internet Adulthood"

"Pee pressure > peer pressure"

"My sex life is just like my typing skills. One handed."

"How does a West Virginia husband tell if his wife is on the rag? (NSFW) He sucks his son's dick to see if it tastes like shit."

"You said I could have my way with you. If you didn't want me to experiment with gas and fire, you should've been more specific."

"Why couldn't stevie wonder drive the bus? There's no steering wheel in the back of the bus."