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Joke of the Day
"No thanks, body wraps. If I believed magic would make me thinner, I'd eat a wizard."
Next Joke
"What do you call a nose without a body? Nobody nose."
"An original joke about Mathew and Not-Mathew. Me:Mathew and Not-Mathew were on a boat. Mathew fell off the boat. Who was left? You:Not-Mathew. Me:Yeah Mathew was the one who fell out. Idiot."
"Why can't atheists solve exponential problems? Because they don't believe in higher powers."
"Why don't mountains get cold? They wear snow caps. *cringe* ^Courtesy ^of ^Westjet's ^horrible ^phone ^line."
"Girl, are you a conspiracy theory? Because I want to listen to you all day long even though I find it hard to believe a word you say."
"What's black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire."
"I suffer from an unusual obsessive compulsive disorder, CDO I have to write acronyms in alphabetical order"
"I want to leave this world the way I entered it... By accident!"
"Mariah Carey seems like the type to sing all she wants for Christmas is you, but when you don't get her anything she throws a huge hissy fit"