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Joke of the Day

"I suffer from an unusual obsessive compulsive disorder, CDO I have to write acronyms in alphabetical order"

"Therapist: So what's the problem? Wife: He thinks he's a flamingo. Me: That's it! I'm putting my foot down. *lowers foot that was raised*"

"Beam me up Scottie! I'm not sure how to work this thing. I have nothing interesting to start with. Maybe a funny joke...Knock Knock!............must have been the wind."

"I don't even want to know how many nude pics Donald Trump's cell phone must have of him."

"The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself ""This changes everything."""

"it's been 12 years since Shrek came out, I still can't get over the fact that Donkey had sex with a dragon.."

"In the 1970s it was almost impossible to insult someone electronically. Thank god that nightmare is over."

"[Dollar Store Interview] ""What are your qualifications?"" [Slides over a dollar] ""Cashier job is yours"" [Slides $2] ""Welcome to Management"""

"The Notebook (2004) A stranger harasses a nursing home resident with stories about people she doesn't know (PG-13 2hr 3min)"

"A star walks into a ... A star walks into a black hole but doesn't seems phazed, the black hole turns to the star and says, I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation."