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Joke of the Day

"Why don't mountains get cold? They wear snow caps. *cringe* ^Courtesy ^of ^Westjet's ^horrible ^phone ^line."

"(this joke is fucked)whats the difference between a baby and a water melon? When u eat a water melon you leave the skin"

"Captain America: ok Avengers, we can defeat Ultron if we work as a team. Remember, no man is an island Island Man: oh come on not this again"

"We all make fun of Kristen Stewart for her wide variety of facial expressions, but she'd probably kick all our asses in poker."

"Terrible music pun If a person were to have sex with Andrew Stockdale, would that make them a wolf, motherfucker?"

"What kind of hotdog did the Buddha order from the street vendor? One with everything"

"Some people are like Slinkys... Totally useless, but still fun to push down the stairs."

"How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? They don't bother, you can find lutfisk in the dark."

"People wont mess with you if you eat a cup of yogurt and then smash it on your forehead because youre tough and have healthy bowel movements"

"A new study has found that if a woman drinks 2 glasses of wine per day it increases the chance of a stroke... if you let her finish the bottle, she'll probably suck it too."