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Joke of the Day

"Girl, are you a conspiracy theory? Because I want to listen to you all day long even though I find it hard to believe a word you say."

"A senior policeman in China has been suspended from his job after being caught masturbating and smoking joints in his office. No name was given but he was a high wanking officer."

"I was playing Monopoly with a couple of friends and picked the hat piece, winked, and said... M'nopoly."

"I called into a suicide hotline And they tried to save my life, talk about misleading."

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven One looks to the other and says ""man it's hot in here"" The other looks back and says ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN"""

"A horse walks into a bar... A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says ""Why the long face?"" The horse says ""I have AIDS."""

"What do you call it when you kill someone with your bad breath from a long distance away? No scope"

"Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?"

"2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet."

"Why didn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box."