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Joke of the Day

"Do competitive origami artists ever fold under pressure?"

"Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely, I write a letter to a prison inmate to tell them how much better my life is than theirs."

"Judge: how do you plead? Me: [looks at lawyer] Lawyer: [mouths ""not guilty""] Me: hot milky L: *bangs head on desk* FFS just lock him up"

"My wife accused me of having uncontrollable OCD.' I put her in her place."

"What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe? Mitosis!"

"I used to be a rubbish collector. Now I'm pretty good."

"Trump: ""If you mess with the United States...."" .....there will be hell Toupeeeeee"

"I was shopping for shoes for my imaginary friend He was a size 10i"

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition Edit: Thanks Reddit for the upvotes, I'm glad you guys finally liked something that I posted. Thanks internet!"

"I think Jennifer Aniston was filmed on a green screen in 2003 and it gets released with a different background and co-star twice a year."