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Joke of the Day

"Judge: how do you plead? Me: [looks at lawyer] Lawyer: [mouths ""not guilty""] Me: hot milky L: *bangs head on desk* FFS just lock him up"

"What's a Russian's favorite service provider? Sprint."

"Racism Q: How do you find a white person in the condiment aisle? A: UM EXCUSE YOU THAT'S RACIST!!!!----oh look, there they are!"

"My girlfriend is a pornstar She will kill me if she finds out. Edit: Holy poop, front page of reddit mum get the camera"

"That Hamburger Helper hand guy. There's a twin out there, right? Didn't go into showbiz. Maybe an accountant or something."

"A Trump supporter asked an opponent what the candidate should do for the American taxpayer. The opponent laughed and said, ""How about becoming one himself?"""

"Did you hear about the mass shooting at the thrift shop? The killer was said to be goodwill hunting."

"Why does a dog on a U-boat have a deep bark? Because he's a sub woofer."

"With great power comes.. An expensive electricity bill"

"When my Girlfriend got pregnant... Everything changed... My name, My Address, My phone number, My email ID Everything....."