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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition Edit: Thanks Reddit for the upvotes, I'm glad you guys finally liked something that I posted. Thanks internet!"

"I stopped listening to my parents' advice after they told me not to eat paste, and it was delicious."

"Knock Knock.. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Yes."

"What's the most musical part of a fish? Its scales."

"What does a tire made of potatoes have? An inner tuber."

"Umami so fat she gets mistaken for lipid"

"What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening? Have a nice bite!"

"So, did you hear that the woman who won the international Strawberry picking contest has no legs? Jammy Cunt!"

"I think my friend Ben has a bad reputation. Every time I tell someone that me and my other buddy are friends with Ben Ofitz, they give me a strange look."

"What do santa and a Jew have in common? they both escape through the chimney."