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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition Edit: Thanks Reddit for the upvotes, I'm glad you guys finally liked something that I posted. Thanks internet!"

"Did it hurt when you fell off a whore tree and banged every man on the way down?"

"Why do math textbooks only ever give you one angle in a triangle? Just cos."

"When a movie says ""Based on a true story."" it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people."

"Ask me if I'm a tomato"

"Baltimore Ravens go low carb Baltimore ravens go low carb and cut Rice. (I will see myself out)"

"Why do people from Istanbul always swim? Because they're constant in a pool."

"The recipe said ""Set the oven to 180 degrees,"" so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall."

"I'm no gynecologist but I know a c*nt when I see one."

"So, I hear Islamic Mysticism is all you need... It's suficient."