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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely, I write a letter to a prison inmate to tell them how much better my life is than theirs."

"Where do baby soy beans come from? they come from edamames"

"I have a dream, that all men are created equal. Just a bunch of regular men. Like, no ""super"" men for instance - Martin Lex Luthor King"

"I've decided to start carrying a knife. After an attempted mugging last week I've decided to start carrying a knife. Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful."

"I would absolutely slay the dating game if looks and personality didn't matter"

"What's the difference between a gay man and a curling iron? The gay man won't burn your dick while he's curling your pubes."

"My girlfriend was crying because she got a bad haircut I said, ""why are you crying? I'm the one that has to find a new girlfriend"""

"i hope toy story 3 is about woody and buzz trying to save the asian child workers that made them."

"Some young women are like bottles of wine They need to be tended to carefully and given time to mature, which is why I keep a few in my cellar."

"If you broke up with your gf who works at a salad bar you can use the line ""lettuce romaine friends"" at a low cost of my student loans."