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Joke of the Day
"I was shopping for shoes for my imaginary friend He was a size 10i"
Next Joke
"If you watch Beauty & the Beast backwards a grown man devolves into a monster then into a petulant little boy. It's basically Twitter."
"She had soft, black hair, and big, brown eyes. We went for a walk. I told her I loved her. Now she's gone. She took off after a squirrel."
"See these teardrop tattoos? I got one for every time I cried in jail."
"What would The Beatles have been called if Ringo never joined? The Beatless"
"I am one bottle of shower gel away from being able to open my own Christmas gift shop in my shower."
"An Italian family is sitting quietly at a table in a restaurant"
"[first date] I'm sorry, I fiddle when I get nervous ""That's okay"" Yeah.... *jams out epic fiddle solo for the rest of the date*"
"What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man? Leave a plunger in the toilet!"
"What does a gay horse eat? Hhhhaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy."