121974

Joke of the Day

"I went to an allotment yesterday to find more soil there than the day before. Today, I went there again and found even more soil.. The plot thickens..."

"My Father always said ""You should fight fire with fire"" He didn't last long as a fireman."

"Keep honking. I'm reloading."

"When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandpa. Not screaming in terror like all of those people in his car."

"Black Santa reached into his bag of presents... He may have been reaching for a weapon. An officer involved shooting occurred."

"Nobody showed up for my Time Traveler-themed New Year's party I guess I shouldn't bother with sending the invitations next week after all."

"What is the most crucial element of Oology? Eggsact measurements."

"Favorite song What's a chinese chef's favorite song? I believe I can fry."

"I just shit my pants! I guess it serves me right for eating them in the first place..."

"I refuse to vote in the US presidential elections! Mainly because I don't live there, nor am I american."