121974

Joke of the Day

"I went to an allotment yesterday to find more soil there than the day before. Today, I went there again and found even more soil.. The plot thickens..."

"[panting, 5 minutes into sex] It's okay, just go on without me"

"Chicago wins World Series for first time since 1908 In other news, Chicago burns to ground for first time since 1871."

"What do you call a tractor trailer that can't keep up with the others? (Self) Semi retarded."

"How do you know Moby Dick was a gay whale? Because he was trying to swallow the sea men..."

"I asked my trainer ""Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?"" He pointed outside and said ""The ATM machine"" [ c/o /u/jubileo5 ]"

"What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a bad joke?"

"Does a bear pope in the woods?"

"I was walking down the road.. I was walking down the road and saw a beautiful woman, A spark flew off between us. We had passionate, amazing sex. Amazing what tasers can do these days."

"me: [raises hand] my date: again, that's not necessary"