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Joke of the Day

"How do you know Moby Dick was a gay whale? Because he was trying to swallow the sea men..."

"I have a monster under my bed. I sleep on the top of a bunk bed."

"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won't go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game; I'll play mine."

"hey i just met you and this is crazy but i'm your mom now you small weak baby"

"Why would it suck to be an egg? Because you only get laid once, only get smashed once, and the only chick that sits on your face is your mother"

"I'm not fat, i'm half-Bulemic. I eat everything i see, but i can't throw up."

"It's gonna be a long day. I can wait to get home and curl up with a good Internet."

"What's the difference between a yoghurt and the USA? If left for 400 years, the yoghurt will develop a culture."

"What is John Lennon's favourite donut? Strawberry Filled forever!"

"I wonder how long it took Lincoln to decide that just saying ""87 years"" wasn't nearly hip enough."