50034
Joke of the Day
"me: [raises hand] my date: again, that's not necessary"
Next Joke
"I walked up to a guy in the gym. I said, ""How do you use this piece of equipment?"" ""It's pretty simple,"" he replied, ""Just push the button and it dries your hands..."""
"I really hope my family doesn't give me a urinal cake again for my birthday this year."
"What's the difference between a 12 year old grill and a 12 year old girl? The grill doesn't cry when you use it to satisfy your meaty desires."
"WIFE: I can't take it anymore. Your incorrect use of idioms is tearing us apart! ME [taking her hand]: Cat got your tongue?"
"I like my hookers like I like my treasure... Buried."
"Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can"
"Do you ever have the urge to eat something right in front of you? Anyways, that's how I lost my job as a gynaecologist..."
"[police interrogation room] Officer: you've been identified as the runner who.. Me: Let me stop you right there."
"Feminism Nothing else. That's the joke."