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Joke of the Day

"Ask a friend this: ""Hey, you ever blow Bubbles?"" ""Of course I did."" ""Well, I think he enjoyed it. He's back in town and asking for you."""

"What do you get if you have unprotected sex in the ear? Hearing AIDS."

"How many optometrist does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1... or 2?? Or 1? Or 2?"

"How do you make a little girl cry twice? Wipe you dick off on her teddy bear. I...I'm sorry. I was told this by a schoolmate in middle school."

"Did you know that Davy Crockett had three ears? His left ear, his right ear, and his wild frontier."

"""Oh snap!"" - branches"

"What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits your windshield? Its butt."

"I recently bumped into a Frenchman wearing a bagel as a scarf. He said it was a real pain in the neck."

"What do you do to a dead fruit? You *berry* it."

"Perhaps Bieber wouldn't need to vandalize walls with graffiti if the restaurants that he goes to would offer him a coloring menu with crayons."