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Joke of the Day

"Lindsay Lohan says she can't walk down the street without men chasing her. They're drug dealers Lindsay pay your debts.."

"My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate."

"I always get chloroform confused with chlorophyll. This guy I kidnapped is awake and angry but his leaves have never been more lush."

"A veteran's son asks him ""Dad, did you get shot in the army?"" The dad replies, ""Nope! But I got shot in the leggy."""

"If Reza from the show ""Shah's of Sunset"" wrote a book... Would he call it, ""Memoirs of a Gay Shah?"""

"How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thick you slice 'em."

"Its been really hot in Seattle lately, so I converted my dishwasher into an air conditioner the other day. How? I handed my wife a hand fan to keep me cool."

"Breaking news the FBI has found anti matter! They hooked Hillary Clinton up to a polygraph machine..."

"Why do engineers work out a lot? They're obsessed with rigid bodies!"

"Knock Knock..... who's there? Owls. Owls Who? Yes they do..."