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Joke of the Day

"Why do engineers work out a lot? They're obsessed with rigid bodies!"

"I destroyed this girls life with my dick tonight I didn't tell her I had advanced HIV"

"What kind of porn do blind people watch? (NSFW) Ebony"

"On my last flight I watched a woman in front of me pull out her hair and eat it until I fell asleep. Can't do that in first class."

"I sprinkled viagra in my eyes today... Now I look hard."

"Son of Sam I Am, a serial killer who targets people who won't try new foods."

"*double-checks the constitution to see if we really have to have a president*"

"What did the vegetable say to the dj? lettuce turnip the beet"

"Sometimes I just get the urge to belt out The Lion Sleeps Tonight. After all, it's only a whim away."

"Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle. October through May, then June through September."