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Joke of the Day

"Use chemicals to remove polish, and no one blinks an eye... Use chemicals to remove the Polish and everyone loses their minds."

"How do you know an african has used your computer? Out of nowhere, it has a virus."

"i need a hug(e amount of cash money)"

"I can't control my urge to pull tube tops down."

"There should be a horror movie where an item associated with childhood innocence is unexpectedly evil"

"What do you do when a bird shits on your windshield? Don't take her on a second date."

"I'm old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year."

"What is a 72? A 69 with 3 people watching."

"The hardest part of being Darth Vader is never being able to sneak up on anyone because your theme music started playing."

"Some men are born to greatness. Some have greatness thrust upon them. Me? I like waffles."