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Joke of the Day

"How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn't it?"

"I wore my ""Gandalf for President"" shirt to the comic convention. It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration."

"My friend called me from a private number last night so I just returned the favor by knocking on his door with a ski mask on."

"What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track? The Indy 500."

"What does Captain Falcon say when he goes to Starbucks? ""Show me your brews!"""

"Trump and Clinton both die in a plane crash. Who survives? America"

"What an old women's vagina taste like? Depends"

"How come Mr. and Mrs. Claus don't have any kids? Because Santa only cums once a year and its down the chimney!"

"My Boss thought that getting a vasectomy would keep his wife from getting pregnant. All it did was change the color of the baby."

"Why do the Lannisters have such big beds? Because they push two twins together to make a king."