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Joke of the Day

"My Boss thought that getting a vasectomy would keep his wife from getting pregnant. All it did was change the color of the baby."

"And now, a poem. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Violet is a shade of purple, so you're a lying whore."

"What did Captain Picard call his poop? Captain's log"

"Why does the philosopher have an automatic car..? Because he Kant drive Immanuel."

"If eating fish is so good for your brain, how come sharks always score so poorly on the SAT?"

"100% per cent of survey respondents said: help us get out of this tall tree. we didn't know this survey involved being stuck in a tree"

"What's it called when a cow kills itself? Mooicide ...Okay, fine, I'll leave..."

"What is a euphemism for gay wizard sex? Taking it in the Dumbledore."

"Studies suggest when it comes to dealing with stress, masturbation is twice as effective as sex So one in the hand really is worth two in the bush."

"It makes me so mad when people use the word ""gay"" as an insult ..fucking assholes"