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Joke of the Day

"First they came for the people who loaded the dishwasher incorrectly & I did not speak out. Because they do my head in."

"I'm not a competitive person I'll be the first to admit it."

"I got my mind on my monkey and my monkey on my back."

"Today I nearly met my end!...it was in a yoga class."

"Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snow-blower was coming."

"Whats the opposite of nickle back? Bill front (Money jokes i got em)"

"What does a virgin eat for breakfast? Has it been that long (Depending on the audience, it may be important to complete with a comedic pause and) ... ... since breakfast?"

"Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees? Because they love digging up the past."

"An apple a day can keep ANYONE away if you throw it really hard at their face"

"Soccer player calls his wife after a game... Player: ""I scored two goals!!"" Wife: ""Great! What was the end scored?"" Player: ""1:1"""