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Joke of the Day

"Some lady at Olive Garden died, so we're rummaging through her stuff. Just like a real family."

"Him- All of your fantasies include me, right? *imagines flying on a Pegasus with Thor* H- Are you waving at the ground? Me-Yes to both"

"A joke walks into a bar... Bartender says woah! I've never *meta* joke before"

"Why did Fred put band aids in the refrigerator? He wanted cold cuts."

"God: ok u can make one human that's it Satan: how do u feel about toupees & the name Donald"

"My girlfriend was very proud of this one. What does cats and festival attendees have in common? They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned."

"Women shouldn't have to be in prison for more than a month. Because their period should be the end of their sentence."

"Facebook features three types of women: hot, Photoshopped hot, and a dog for a profile pic."

"If Trump wins the presidency, you know who's gonna be the most excited about buildin' a Southern border fence? Canada."

"Hip Hop Humor Whose mother likes rap music? Yo Momma! My eight-year-old daughter wants to see how many upvotes she can get. Ten-year old brother is interested in downvotes."