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Joke of the Day

"a man comes into a bar... or was it a horse? yeah i think it was a horse. so a man comes into a horse...."

"Hey, hot stuff. Pretty sweet vagina you got there. Maybe later, after I unload the dishwasher, we can-No? That's cool. I have stuff to read."

"I was trying to write an essay about the jews in World War II.. But I just couldn't concentrate."

"I just got back from a boner contest I must admit, the competition was stiff."

"""SIRI, WHERE'S THE REMOTE?"" -- ""SIRI, BRING ME A BEER!"" -- ""SIRI, WHERE'S MY DINNER?"" -- Wife: ""She's either deaf, or had sex with you too."""

"At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die"

"Any golf jokes? Was hoping you guys would have a few golf jokes for when I play my first game tomorrow. From PG to R rated is fine with me ;)"

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire"

"[Interviewing to be a mortician] Do you have any experience handling dead bodies? -Well I get my sleepy kids ready for school every day."

"What is the difference between a woman and a forklift? There is none. In both cases, if you don't have one, you unload by hand."