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Joke of the Day

"So what do you guys think my odds are of getting hit by a car if I went out on my road bike right now? 4/20?"

"Want to here a joke? [Something something Irish drunk person]"

"Fifty Shades of Grey. In anticipation for the release of Fifty Shades of Grey, many theaters have installed more powerful ventilation systems to compensate for the smell."

"Never treat a woman like an object. It hates that."

"I've been calling my husband ""babe"" for five years because I'm too embarrassed to tell him I forgot his name."

"*knock knock* ""Who's there?"" ""Dejav."" ""Dejav who?"" *knock knock* *edit : thanks a lot for appreciating the stupidity"

"I exercise religiously. Which means I go running dressed as the Pope."

"Ode to Joy. What's Beethoven's favourite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NAAAA."

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' Catholic."

"Coffee's a great way to fool yourself into believing you're going to have a productive day."