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Joke of the Day

"Coffee's a great way to fool yourself into believing you're going to have a productive day."

"Did you hear? There was an active shooter at the observatory! He was shooting for the stars!"

"My boss asked me which Game of Thrones house he'd best be placed in... I told him House Lannister because it only takes one hand to go fuck yourself."

"Two college grads are standing at a counter... The one says to the other ""I'll have a number 6, super sized"""

"5yo: Why is he crying? Me: That's a teardrop tattoo. 5: Oh. Did he shank someone in prison? M: What? 5: Remind him I want extra guacamole."

"Why did the snowman smile? He heard that the snow-blower was in town."

"What did the CEO of Reddit say to its users [Edit] Nothing"

"During exams, students look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information."

"Gonna hand out job applications to teenage trick-or-treaters who ring my doorbell."

"Scientists are close to re-enacting The Big Bang theory. Hope its got another hot blonde with nice tits in it."