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Joke of the Day
"Never treat a woman like an object. It hates that."
Next Joke
"What is the definition of ""trust?"" Two cannibals giving each other head."
"Bro Transformers are real! Haven't you seen a big truck or a camaro? They are real. They just hide real good like chewbacca. And batman."
"What do you call a midget fortune teller, who is wanted by the law? A Small Medium at Large"
"Whenever I'm feeling stressed I go to the house of mirrors... I find it's a really great place to reflect."
"It's cool we live in a time where we can just type ""lol"" or ""haha"" without actually having to laugh or have feelings."
"Twitter is like a dorm, someone is always up at every hour, someone is crying and someone is drunk."
"Today I was told that I sing like an amputee. Apparently I can't hold a note or carry a tune."
"Why do scuba divers fall into the water backwards off the boat? Because if they went forward they'd be in the boat"
"I hope you won't mind if I stare toward your house at dusk in an expressionless porcelain mask."