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Joke of the Day

"Little Mermaid: I want to be where the people are Me: trust me u dont"

"Why can't Canada win wars? Because they'll blow you up and then apologize."

"Husband says to his wife ""do you smell that"" wife says ""no?"" Husband says ""me neither so start cooking"""

"Did you hear about Instagram, the weed delivery service? nm was thinking of Instantgram"

"Whenever my girlfriend doesn't eat her dinner, I remind her that there are starving kids in Africa, and that she'll never be that skinny."

"Today as a Random Act of Kindness, I wore a really tight sweater to work."

"Life is full of people you can't have and people you don't want."

"I want to break up. It isn't you. It's a me...mario!"

"My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about."

"How can you tell if your son is gay? Ask him to go to a football game. If he can't go, because he's busy sucking his boyfriend's dick, he might be gay."