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Joke of the Day
"My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about."
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"Michael Cera forgets to do laundry and has to wear a doctor costume to the hospital. He's too shy to refuse people and performs 3 surgeries."
"She like, literally died. ~White girls' headstones"
"Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name. Coincidence? I think not..."
"Stevie Wonder Have you seen Stevie Wonders wife & kids lately? - No? Neither has he"
"Just bet myself that the guy walking ahead of me was rocking a mustache. Won. Rewarded myself with the delusion that I live a full life."
"""Bite me, asshole"" - grammatically correct and scathing ""Bite me asshole"" - kinky pirate"
"Shout out to my body for reminding me that, while I'm too old to have the tiny waist of a 15yo, I'm not too old for a pimple on the forehead"
"A patella throws a party Because he's fun-knee"
"What do you call a bakery owned by a redhead? A Ginger Bread-House"