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Joke of the Day

"So sick of musicians telling lovers in songs that they'd give them stuff if they only had it to give. That's too easy, assholes."

"Only a fraction of you will get this There's a fine line between numerator and denominator"

"Here Here Here Here Here Here Here -1 sided text conversation between me and my 18yo daughter because all I do is pick her up from places."

"What goes well with country music? Suicide."

"How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ? When your nose touches the ceiling !"

"What do you call a rapsit that gets raped? JUSTICE"

"My son wants a bb gun for Christmas I told him I'l give it my best shot"

"I just found a jar in the fridge, with expiry date 21/12/2012. I looked at it twice, and indeed, it was mayannaise!"

"Knock Knock Who's there? Allah Allah who? *Boom*"

"Your Honor, these 52 selfies on my clients phone at the precise moment of the crime prove that my client can only be guilty of narcissism."