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Joke of the Day

"Your Honor, these 52 selfies on my clients phone at the precise moment of the crime prove that my client can only be guilty of narcissism."

"When is Dennis Rodman going to realize that he will be executed as soon as the North Korean basketball team he is training loses their first game."

"My wife finally conceded in an ongoing argument we were having about clocks It was about time."

"Why did the Ferguson protesters not participate in Black Friday? Because they have already looted everything they would have bought anyway."

"Hello? 911? Could you warn the Byzantine empire that Leo VI is going to die next year and they should appreciate him while they can?"

"Why do men struggle to urinate with an erection? It's just too hard."

"What they don't tell you about bathing in the blood of your enemies is your body hair is a light magenta for like the next 3 or 4 days. Ugh."

"Blonde Joke of the day Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, ""It's dark in here isn't it?"" The other replied, ""I don't know; I can't see."" :-D"

"What happens if I make a cake with washing soda, not baking soda? You end up clean round the bend. Apologies for stealing the title from /r/science"

"[Leaving ballgame] Officer: have you been drinking? Me: Yes, but I assure you officer I can't afford to get drunk there."