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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a rapsit that gets raped? JUSTICE"

"A guy named Michael was rushed to the emergency room one night and had to have heart surgery.. I guess you could say it was open Mike night."

"What kind of line gets thicker and thinner at the same time? A line of marathon runners"

"A young burn victim gets new eyelids made from his foreskin! Doctors say he will be a little cockeyed."

"Me *writing*: she was like 12 slices of key lime pie in a dress- tart, cool, totally whipped. Her: I can hear you. Me: she could hear me"

"I'm training to be a sniper in the Communist Revolutionary Forces... ... I'll be the designated Marxman!"

"I don't blame pedophiles all the time, After all, there's a child in all of us."

"Fridge and a Gay Guy What's the difference between a fridge and a gay guy? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out."

"Atheists don't seem to recognize church is worth it for the bake sales alone. God, or no god, those are good Brownies."

"slight variation on an arguable classic: How do mermaids reproduce? Binary fish-ion."