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Joke of the Day

"My wife has really dry skin so I asked my doctor what I could do about it. He said, ""Give her a milk bath."" I said, ""Pasteurized?"" The doctor replied, ""No, just up to her knees will do."""

"I've written a musical called Fish. It's very similar to Cats, although Memory's a lot shorter."

"Ok I just started watching House M.D.:nn1 Does everyone gang up and beat House's other leg?n2 does a rival Token come in to challenge Omar?"

"I got my born-again mother an FML shirt for Christmas. Telling her it means Father, My Lord."

"What's the difference between a canoe and a Jew? Canoes tip."

"biggest joke ever? The U.N"

"Do you know what a will is? C'mon! It's a dead giveaway."

"""Dean, what do you think is a reasonable price point for a chocolate cake?"" ""Good question, Deluca. I'm gonna say $95."""

"Donald Trump & Mexican Are At Bar On The Boarder Mexican Grill"

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. Take one of these every 4 laps !"