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Joke of the Day

"If Christians made a movie about church attendance, what would they call it? Exodus"

"You can lead a horticulture ...but you can't make her think"

"Why are the steaks so high? Because the pot was calling the cattle back and the cows went back to the marijuana field."

"I'm going to start a blog for irrational numbers... I think I'll call it the 3.1 forums..."

"Some say sex is better than chocolate. Others say chocolate is better than sex. I say why not make love to chocolate."

"I hate double-standards; when my girlfriend puts on a pair of puppy-dog eyes, it's ""cute"", but when I do it... Everyone is just ""Oh god Mercury what the fuck did you do that puppy?!"""

"ME: we can do this GOOGLE SMART CAR: we can't clear the bridge ME: *mashes 'im feeling lucky' button*"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Arson ! Arson who ! Arson McCullers !"

"Why did the butter maker not tell anybody his secret recipe? He was afraid they'd spread it around."

"It takes balls to be a man."