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Joke of the Day

"If Christians made a movie about church attendance, what would they call it? Exodus"

"Why did the Green Giant get a new lid? Because he always spills the beans."

"A guy said he fantasizes about me in a bathtub filled with Big Mac sauce and I said YOU'RE DISGUSTING AND DISTURBED and see you at 8, Brian."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"You can justify pretty much any shit you put into your body these days simply by saying, ""But it's got antioxidants."""

"How did the autistic boy survive his jump from a plane? He was retarded"

"I was talking to my friend earlier. I thought, ""Why on earth are you called Earlier?"""

"Did you hear about the new pill that's supposed to turn lesbian women straight? It's called tricoxagain."

"There are only two things certain in life death, taxes, and people who can't count."

"Just realised why careers advisors are shit they couldn't even pick their own career"