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Joke of the Day

"""Dean, what do you think is a reasonable price point for a chocolate cake?"" ""Good question, Deluca. I'm gonna say $95."""

"If you really love someone never let them out your basement."

"What did the wind turbine say to Justin Beiber? Justin, I'm a big fan. wheyyyyyyyyyyyy"

"I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a girl. Wondering how she got her eyeliner on so perfectly."

"What would you call a Russian invasion of Alaska? Ice [Krim](http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%D0%9A%D1%80%D1%8B%D0%BC)"

"What's the worst part about fucking your grandma? Banging your head on the coffin lid."

"Having a girlfriend is like having a car... ... I don't have a car :'(."

"If your opinion about global warming is based on the weather outside then you don't deserve to have an opinion about global warming"

"I don't get laid on Saturdays. The last two words were unnecessary."

"What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead aaaant, dead ant"