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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Burger King is promoting a black Whopper? McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder."

"I used to think I was a man of vision. Now i'm pretty sure they're hallucinations."

"What do Japanese people do when they have erections? Vote!"

"To whoever has my voodoo doll, can you stop making me stare at my phone all day? This isn't funny. I just want to live life again."

"-I can't stand liars and fakes -You are so pretty -See? Why can't everyone be honest like you"

"[A field] *An elderly Louie Pasteur and I sit among the clover, I hold a shotgun* Me: It's time to put you out to pasture. *Cocks shotgun*"

"*Judge raises hammer* ""I SENTENCE YOU TO LIFE"" -*defendant chuckles* ""I'm already alive you MORON!"""

"Sorry ISIS but we already have a religious state that nobody likes and is full of people that hate modern thinking: it's called Kansas."

"I'm sure some of you have already heard this one..... 4217"

"What does a butler call his employer named mr. Bates? Sir, you fucking pervert!"