102005

Joke of the Day

"Sorry ISIS but we already have a religious state that nobody likes and is full of people that hate modern thinking: it's called Kansas."

"Yo mommas so black she has been marked absent at night school."

"""I'm too old for this lit."" - Danny Glover in a freshmen English class"

"For Halloween I'm giving out razor blades with candy in them. These kids'll be shaving away and then BAM - nougat everywhere."

"Did you know Elvis used to have a boat called the ""Jailhouse""? That fucking thing rocked."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? He couldn't get his cock out of the chicken"

"What is the temperature of a Tauntaun? Luke warm"

"My doctor told me I suffer from Anorexia... ... like it's not enough that I'm fat."

"PSA: If you have kids, do not label the box of your ...ahem.. special items ""Toys"". It's very awkward to explain."

"ATC: ""Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions? "" Cessna: ""To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating."" ATC: ""I meant in the next five minutes not years."""