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Joke of the Day

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx"

"How do you make a hormone? Kick her between the legs"

"if ur in a bad mood & somone says ""have a good day"" the best response is to yell ""HEY EVRYONE THIS DUDES HANDING OUT GOOD DAYS COME GET ONE"""

"A paraplegic got prosthetic legs for a single day before they broke. He had a one night stand."

"Dumb joke I thought of while bored at work. Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict? You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines."

"Saw two jeeps crash into each other today. There were Dave Matthews Band CD's everywhere."

"I've decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I'm back"

"There are times when I miss you so bad, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body."

"What do you call a root beer in a square glass? Beer"

"Girl are you the square root of -1? Because you're complex as fuck."