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Joke of the Day

"A paraplegic got prosthetic legs for a single day before they broke. He had a one night stand."

"Today I'm cancer free! And all the days before that, but it still counts."

"Want to take the wind out of my sails? Walk past my table at the restaurant with what I thought was my meal."

"How does a black woman know that she's pregnant? The baby starts picking cotton off her tampons. (aaannnd i'll see myself out)"

"What do a Pediatrician and Podiatrist have in common? Their patients are 2'"

"What's so fun about having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them."

"[at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? ""yeah"" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?"

"I broke my arm in a couple places; know what the doctor said? ""Stay out of those places!"""

"I've decided to make an all-natural shampoo made from roots found in Africa. I'll call it Ethnic Cleansing."

"You're breaking up with me because I ""don't put food in the correct things?"" WTF? After I've JUST made you a delicious bowl of toast??"