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Joke of the Day
"There are times when I miss you so bad, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body."
Next Joke
"I hate when waitresses flirt with me.. I can't tell if they just want the tip or if they want just the tip."
"Judge: Your client says he's mentally fit to stand trial correct?Lawyer: Yes, your honor.Judge: Then can you tell him to get out of my seat?"
"What kind of blood did the mna have who culdn't spel right? Typo."
"No thanks Facebook Live, if I wanted to see people doing stupid things in real time I'd just go visit my family."
"When I draw a fish I always.... ... Draw it to scale"
"What do you call fireworks that don't work? Fireunemployed."
"Like The Purge but everyone is tryin to murder Tim Allen & become the next Santa. Pls donate on kickstarter so I can finally feed my family."
"* on a date snuggling * Me: Did you enjoy dinner? Her: Yeah, but now I feel fat. Me: Get your hands off my belly."
"How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ashtray..."