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Joke of the Day
"I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic"
Next Joke
"I was arrested for killing a black man I'm a black man EDIT: I'm a half black man"
"Never bring a toasted sandwich to a senior's gym Or else you're going to have 40 people thinking they're having a stroke."
"What do you call a beach with crooked waves? [OC] A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)"
"Yo Mama so poor... ...that when she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken she licks other people's fingers."
"I can understand leaving a baby unattended-- but your phone!!"
"My wife looks like the cats in those cucumber videos when she turns around & sees me naked."
"What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? bison"
"[I open my lunchbox to find a copy of the Magna Carta] But that means... [cut to British Library patrons thoughtfully examining a Capri Sun]"
"Why is Halloween one of the most popular holidays in West Virginia? It gives them an opportunity to *pump-kin*."