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Joke of the Day

"I was arrested for killing a black man I'm a black man EDIT: I'm a half black man"

"What's the difference between driving in fog and eating pussy? When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you"

"You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance."

"mob boss: stick his body in the compost pile me: wha mob boss (grabbing my collar intently): we might be killers, but u only got one earth"

"What did the Mexican girl say to her fiance? You're the Juan!"

"Me: ""Siri, why am I single?"" Siri: *opens front face camera*"

"Did you know there is a town in Pennsylvania with the same same as one of the Great Lakes? It's eerie."

"He said he would call me at 5pm but didn't until 5.03pm. His lies will tear our relationship apart"

"Friends are like snowflakes. If you pee on them they disappear."

"I'm really sorry to hear about Donald Trump Nothing happened to him. I'm just sorry to hear about him."