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Joke of the Day
"Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine? It was soda pressing."
Next Joke
"I just got unfollowed by a woman that just started following me yesterday, so I guess I just had my first one night stand on twitter."
"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!! (someone date me please)"
"What do you call a sad hat? A sombre-ero!"
"i wonder if china has fancy plates called america"
"Sticking a $5 bill into a vending machine turns it into my grandmother, dispensing stale snacks and rare dollar coins."
"I hate when the whole Internet mourns someone's death & I have to Google them to find out if they were a politician, an athlete or a Muppet."
"He was the best human cannonball the circus ever had. You seldom meet a man of his caliber."
"I'm bringing sexy back. Apparently there was a misunderstanding and I never should have been allowed to purchase it in the first place."
"My wife said I don't do enough work around the house. Its like she thinks this FB account just runs itself.........smh"