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Joke of the Day

"Sticking a $5 bill into a vending machine turns it into my grandmother, dispensing stale snacks and rare dollar coins."

"If we really want our kids to be smarter, we should require pornstars to moan historical facts during sex"

"What did that cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"

"I know I shouldn't, but I treat blacks and whites the same Speed Wash cycle."

"If Twitter was invented by a woman, The character limit would be 10,000 characters."

"Why would Gabe Newell be a good president? Because then World War 3 would never happen"

"I hope Death is a woman.... That way it will never come for me."

"How are Asians and Smart Cars similar? They are yellow can they only hold small packages"

"judge: 99 yrs me: is it cos i called ur gavel a justice hammer? judge: no that actually helped me: killing then judge: yeah the killing"

"anyone remember this funny one ?? ''u miss 100% of the shots u don't take'' -wain gretski -michel scoot ! XD"