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Joke of the Day

"Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don't like being that guy holding two purses."

"Why did they have to stop playing water-polo in Poland? All the horses drowned"

"How did they keep the pilot out of the cockpit? With an Allahu Lockbar."

"I saw this advert in a window that said: ""Television, 1$, volume stuck on full"" I thought to myself, I can't turn that down."

"How do you tell a Japanese girl you're breaking up with her ? You drop it on her twice."

"lets modernize Hey Arnold fellas this will be hilarious... Hey Ackbar! ""move it towelhead"""

"If anyone needs me, I'll be over at facebook, actin' creepy."

"My friend took me to a twilight fencing class. I couldn't really see the point."

"How is 2+2=5 like your left foot? It's not right."

"What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? Get bent!"