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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload the truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork."

"I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, ""How the hell did you get in here?"""

"I had a friend buy a European car and he kept telling me about it breaking down. I had to tell him that I didn't want to hear anymore of his Saab stories."

"Where do poor Italians live? In the spaghetto..."

"Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig."

"What did the cow say when she saw the Dalmatian? Dam... I got to get in shape!"

"Are they shutting twitter down anytime soon? I need to do life stuff."

"I accidentally swallowed a piece of string the other day. When it finally came out the back end, it was all tied up. I shit you knot"

"Slightly funny gay joke What doesn't work? A gay dude allergic to nuts"

"WHAT DO WE WANT?!?! A CURE FOR TOURETTES!!! WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!?! FUCK!!!"