11618

Joke of the Day

"An art museum robber is caught when he tries to get away.... A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers "" I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Next Joke
 
"""I just figured the 'H' was broken on your sign"" Nope, this is what I sell here. Now how many Doug nuts do you want?"
"i only watch superbowl for the commercials.i am unsure how to spend my surplus income &desperately need suggestions via talking animals"
"A police officer walks into a bar. He shoots it and claims self defense."
"[1st Row at Beyonce Concert] Beyonce: Who run da world?! *points mic at me* ME: [having briefly heard the song once before] ...squirrels?"
"*walks in house wearing a large neck brace* oh no, what happened? ""my earbud cord got caught on a chair while I was walking"""
"What do you call a musical instrument made of gelatin? A jello!"
"You're so ugly that when you went to turn on your car stereo it overheated, fizzled, died out and started playing Who Let The Dogs Out"
"Judge: Ms Spears, how do you plea? ""I'm not. that. innocent."" *frustrated defense counsel tosses like 9000 papers in the air*"
"You know what really grinds my gears? People who can't drive manual."