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Joke of the Day

"Welcome to the first annual hunger games America. Thank you to all the married cousins that voted for president snow."

"How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? ""Please get out of the pool"""

"WITCH (using her broom for just sweeping): did we give up our dreams? WIZARD (using his pointy hat as a piping bag for cupcake icing): yes"

"I threw a boomerang yesterday and it didn't come back. How long do you reckon before it's safe to turn around?"

"The year is 2057. iPhone 742 is released. The screen touches you."

"Family Fight My neighbours' family had a huge fight yesterday. Allegedly it started when their son introduced his girlfriend and granny responded: See what happens when you don't pray?'"

"I hope that someday we can live in a world without plagiarism. You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one."

"Terminate an unwanted conversation with someone you haven't seen for years with the words, ""Wow. You've aged badly..."""

"When you put the punchline before the rest of the joke. How do you know when you're a bad comedian?"

"What does a news anchor say during sex? this just in"