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Joke of the Day

"You're so ugly that when you went to turn on your car stereo it overheated, fizzled, died out and started playing Who Let The Dogs Out"

"I wish I could get bitten by a radioactive confident person."

"Two fish were in a tank.. one turned back and said to another..""How do you drive this thing?"""

"Why is Mrs Trump always on top? Because Donald can only fuck up."

"What do you call it when someone has sex in exchange for spaghetti? Pastatution"

"Disappointed in the Baja Men for never writing a song about putting the dogs back in."

"My grocery list tells the story: limes, beer, TP, creamer, donuts, batteries, excedrin, a life."

"I've never been a fan of phone sex... ... mostly because they're made out of really hard plastic."

"Why it is important that you grow mustaches? So that when you lick pussy they absorb the acids and therefore protect your teeth from falling off."

"1. Go to seminary. 2. Get degree. 3. ??? 4. Prophet."