151748

Joke of the Day

"You're so ugly that when you went to turn on your car stereo it overheated, fizzled, died out and started playing Who Let The Dogs Out"

"A wise man once said... absolutely nothing. He let her vent and then they had sex afterward."

"There really should be awards for getting out of bed."

"Yes, Neil, everything sounds better when you have a great voice. That's how sound works."

"What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out."

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom... ...and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? European"

"What do you call a Mexican woman who has no legs? Cunts way low"

"How do you burn a lot of calories at once? Douse a fat person with gasoline and light a match"

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on pick-up lines. The librarian replies, ""It's in my house, if you want to come over and collect it."""

"Why can't you see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."