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Joke of the Day

"i only watch superbowl for the commercials.i am unsure how to spend my surplus income &desperately need suggestions via talking animals"

"TIL Pat Mccrory doesn't have a gender specified on his birth certificate It's Pat! edit: changed joke entirely"

"Man bumps into my shoulder ""You're lucky this isn't the Internet pal"""

"New cardboard AIDS test if your skin is darker than a piece of cardboard you probably have AIDS."

"What do you call 2 ducks who walk like, act like, and believe they are geese? A paradux"

"""Dad, you were at 63%, so I unplugged your phone to plug mine in"" *Drives ex-son to homeless shelter"

"What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? pumpkin pi"

"I don't know why there's such a stigma on masturbation. I find that it really comes in handy."

"""Gangnam Style / Schneider, Rob / 9/11 / Inside Job"" - my new version of ""We Didn't Start the Fire"""

"What connects the computers in Sauron's office? A Tolkien Ring network."