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Joke of the Day

"*walks in house wearing a large neck brace* oh no, what happened? ""my earbud cord got caught on a chair while I was walking"""

"Her: Oh no, I've lost my jacket.. Me: *appears from the shadows* (whispers) you left it at the restaurant *slinks back into the shadows*"

"Did you see the movie about oil and water? It's immiscible."

"I like my pick-up lines how I like my cheetos Dangerously Cheesy"

"I bartered a ring for a shop vac All she does is suck up my wallet and spend all my money."

"Where do bee's go to the bathroom? At the BP station."

"Q: When is a farmer like a magician? A: When he turns his cow to pasture."

"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler."

"What do frogs say? Times fun when you're having flies"

"I like my coffee like I like my women.. Without a penis"